Anyone who knows me knows that is a hard won decision for me. When I met my husband (then the guy who ran the Café next to my first apartment in LA), he had just bought a Harley Davidson Sportster. He would rumble that bad boy in the mornings to let me know he was opening the café. I would run down and get my quick cup before I headed out for my long commute to work. Yes, it was totally cute and I can see you smiling. Fast forward a few years, I was 9 weeks pregnant, Jun was about 30 minutes late coming home…and I ‘knew’ something was wrong. I called Jun’s cell and his friend (who didn’t speak much English) answered. All I got was motorcycle accident, hospital and he handed the phone to the police who told me where to go. I could spend some time going through that story; the initial terror, the subsequent surgeries, broken leg, physical therapy…the doctors’ bills for both of us! I nursed his injuries all while wishing someone would take care me as I progressed in my own pregnancy. Ooooh….I can still feel the exhaustion, together with my fears, worries and resentment – Ouch! I truly didn’t want Jun to ever ride another motorcycle…especially with all the LA crazy drivers.
So “why” you ask? First, let’s fast forward again to today. Life is busy. My husband’s running an electrical contracting business that’s struggling it’s way out of debt and into a respectful business among his peers. Within that he works more hours than an attorney climbing the ladder to make partner and we certainly don’t get any of those perks. Money is tight and if you know anything about his industry, it’s never regular either so budgeting can be a nightmare. He’s been working this way for over 3 years straight. I sometimes joke that I’m a single mom with benefits. Truth is sometimes our daughter goes a week without seeing her Appa. He leaves at 5am and returns around 10pm. And the truther is I wonder how long he can go like this before his body begins to break down.
So, money is tight and I’m lonely and nursing PTSD…hmmmm where’s the logic in this motorcycle idea?
Flow; the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. Wikipedia
Also called being in the zone or if you’re a jazz musician it’s being in the pocket. Being in Flow slows down thought and puts your mind into a Theta brainwave state, the same state people who have meditated for decades are able to get into. What it also does is silence the internal critic, makes time seem to stop, your Self seem to vanish and the Be-er and Do-er merge into one.
We’ve heard about elite athletes doing this, but how ‘bout everyone else?
They recently did a study that showed executives in Flow were 5 times (read 500%) more effective than when out of Flow. That means if you got into a state of Flow and worked one day then took the next 6 days off, you’d be just as productive as your ‘out of flow’ peers. Imagine if you worked another ½ day?
Being in a Flow state actually assists us in being better in all areas of life. Why is it that we don’t value things that “bring full involvement and enjoyment in the process of the activity?” Why do we continually put ourselves last? I for one am really over the whole protestant work ethic, self-sacrifice BS. Let’s start taking care of us! We all have anecdotal evidence that it works. So do it – and what if you become more productive in one day than the whole week before?
Back to the Harley. Jun loves riding. It’s his place of Flow. He’s sacrificed his love in the name of work, business, family. What if he gets that Flow back? What do you want to bet it will expand out into all areas of his life and business?
I was reading about Flow and realized that is exactly what I do! My energy work creates gentle and easy opportunities to connect with a state of Flow. My clients continually tell me that they feel like they are in a state between consciousness and sleep. They say time stretches or goes by in an instant. They experience relief, calm, joy after working with me. I know my life has changed since I massively put myself first. Whether it be energy work or a Harley, I’m all for serious self-care.
I’ll let you know how it goes with hubby…but in the meantime shhhhh…don’t tell him, it’s a surprise.
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman
So tell me…do you think my flow/fun/productivity logic makes sense or am I crazy?
Please comment below!!